My Sister

My heart is full this evening, so I had to post. Three days ago, I made contact with my long-lost sister who lives on the West Coast. We had never spoken and didn't even know that each other existed until six years ago (my family situation is bizarre.)

I can't believe it took me six years to get up the nerve to talk to her. What a waste! She is so great to talk to. She is absolutely wonderful. I messaged her on Facebook to add her as a friend and then opened a chat window with her the next day after she accepted. We chatted for hours on Facebook. Then the next night. And the next. And I couldn't be happier. I never imagined that I would find a sister who was so accepting of me, interested in knowing me, and willing to share information about herself so readily with me.

My only challenge now is to try to reign in the brotherly love. Because, you see, I am HUGE into family and I've been truly craving affection from my sisters on Dad's side of the family for years now, mostly in vain. They all live hours away though, so I don't see them often enough and haven't kept up with them. That's my fault, of course, but there also hasn't been any effort on their part, which saddens me.

But now I have my sister who is the closest to me in age (1 year and 1 day older than me) and she's everything I ever hoped for and more. And therein lies the rub... I'm almost afraid to let her know how I feel, because I'm so dang sentimental. She has become extremely important to me very quickly and I don't want to freak her out.

In my youth, I had a depressing tendency to care a great deal about people who then either didn't return the feeling or got freaked out because I was too obvious in my affection and then shunned me. So I'm kinda gun-shy. I have dropped hints (and none too subtle) that I really am ecstatic that we have a relationship (though I don't call it that, of course) but I'm afraid that my natural affection for her might push her away. When I feel strongly about someone, I turn into a great big girl and get all dopey. Don't ask why; I don't know. It sucks, though. The urge to give her a huge hug and tell her how much she means to me is overwhelming. Yet whelmed it must be...

All I know is that I am extremely happy and excited and grateful that she is in my life. The next step is to call her, but I don't want to rush that... I just want to enjoy this feeling that I finally have a sister that I feel close to and who seems to care about me. It's a new thing for me and I want to savor it.

Thank you, my Lord, for your many blessings. This was unexpected and is all the sweeter for that.