Ford hates me

So after much debate (and a small hiatus) I am back to reveal a terrible truth.

Ford hates me.

Viciously.

I have two Ford automobiles. Don't ask why. That's not the point. The critical point is that I hate them. Well, that sounds...ungrateful. Hmm, how can I say it in a less bitter fasion? I hate Fords in general and my two cars are good examples of why.

Well. That wasn't much better, I guess.

Too bad. Bite me, Ford.

Anyway, I have a Ford Taurus that doesn't run. I also have a Ford Contour that doesn't run. So I'm 0 for 2. Awesome. The Contour needs an alternator. The Taurus needs some lovin'. And a battery. And possibly other stuff. Who knows? A mechanic I ain't.

Anyways, you wouldn't think that an alternator is that hard to replace, right? Well, Ford in its infinite hatefulness decided to stick the alternator RIGHT UNDER THE ENGINE. Nowhere easy to get to. But that's not all. It's made so that the recommended way to remove the alternator is to REMOVE THE FRIGGIN' AXLE OFF THE CAR! Are you serious???

Ok, I do not have tons o' cash. Paying in excess of $300 to get an ALTERNATOR put on my car makes no sense to me (not to mention being economically unfeasible.) With the right tools and some know how, it should be an easy matter to remove the alternator oneself and install a new one. But no, Ford has decided that I must suffer.

Well, at least when we bought our van, we bought a Dodge. So take that, Ford.

And your little dog, too.